How to build deep, meaningful relationships

I have been thinking about the power of relationships. Friendships. I am not experienced with developing deep, meaningful relationships with others. I tend to prefer keeping others outside arms reach. In recent years, I have focused my personal growth on building deeper relations with others – in an effort to eradicate my feelings that I am alone in this world.

I would say that I have been successful in my efforts. I miss many of the women I had grown close to before leaving Wisconsin. Emily – my daily workout partner, sounding board, and mind of reason. Andrea – an inspiring woman of God, who shared her heart and family with me! JR – accepting me as me and teaching me to prioritize myself. And so many more!!

An unexpected friendship

Any friend & Becca (L to R)

Any friend & Becca (L to R)

Last summer I met my homie. Me – the sheltered Midwesterner. My homie – the NYC cat. If you ask my homie, she would say that I initially freaked her out. I sought her out – something about her reminded me of – well, me! In the last year our friendship has grown and we continue to support one other’s passions, dreams, goals, efforts, etc. Together we have grown, and I now have one of the deepest and most meaningful relationships I have ever had. Unexpected? Yes!

My homie knows me – my insecurities, my vulnerabilities, my weaknesses. She also knows my dreams, my passions, my ambitions. She knows how to make me laugh.

I would be lying if I made this post into a How-To. I do not know how to build deep, meaningful relationships. I am still learning. But here I will share what I have learned.

403What has allowed me to build this deep bond? 

Vulnerability – sharing my heart, mind, and soul.

Respect – for opinions, beliefs, and more.

Trust – with all my heart!

Honesty – with no reason to hide!

Listening – as if I have nothing to say.

Talking – as if I have a wealth of information to share.

The bottomline

I have learned that building relationships means stepping outside of my comfort zone. This requires me to ‘practice what I preach.’ I guide clients out of their comfort zones on a daily basis – I would consider myself an expert at this, particularly in the physical fitness form of a comfort zone. I also leave my physical comfort zone with nearly every workout. That is easy for me.

Leaving my emotional comfort zone – not so easy. It has been a slow, but steady journey. And very much worthwhile.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! ~Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

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Missing a place called home

I am missing a place I called home. I am missing my gym – the one where my friends and I met each day to kick a$$. The place I worked and loved what I did. The place of learning and teaching – and, most importantly, growing.

This is the place where I met the women who workout like me – push me.

This is the place where the men pushed me to be more like them and challenged me to do more to try and compete with their antics.

It is the place you would find me at 4:30 am working out.

It is the place you could most often still find my at 8:00 pm. I should have had a cot!

It is a place where I sweat, smiled, laughed, and cried.  DSC_0428

It is where I found peace on a crazy day.

It is a place that sometimes created a crazy day.

It was where I felt safe.

It was a place of fellowship – a fellowship I have yet to find anywhere else.

It was where I found passion and heart – and began to find my vulnerability.

This is the place where I found my strength and confidence.

The is the place where I was free to be me.

I am missing a place called home.